Il Capitano

Capitano (in English, the "Captain") is the most macho of the macho men. He is extremely arrogant, with a huge ego, and he constantly brags about his many accomplishments. Of course, all of this is a lie. Behind this front of courage, Capitano is, in fact, a coward who is afraid of anything and everything. He wouldn't hurt a fly. He is able to pretend he is the captain of an army simply because he owns the uniform. His given name is usually something long and absurd using important sounding names and qualifications. It could be something like Bernardino Constantino Ermengildo Leopoldo Olimpio Walter Quinto, son of Mars of Olympus. The actor playing this character can have fun making up the name.

Capitano's costume, as in the picture above, is a play on the military costume of the time. It is similar to the uniform, ut much bigger. Capitano wears huge boots that may cover part of his leg, and a fancy hat with a colorful military-type jacket. This costume can really be anything military-like, as long as it is obviously making fun of the armed forces. Capitano does wear a sword in a scabbard on his belt, but he never draws it. If, for some reason, the sword winds up out of his belt, Capitano is terrified and may run away.

Capitano's mask, as you can see from the picture above, has large eyes to show how big the eyes can widen in fear, and a long phallic nose.

This character's movement is always big and bold to make himself look more important and strong. His feet are far apart (like a ballet second position), and his chest sticks out with his shoulders drawn back. His back is very straight. Capitano walks with large steps, picking his knees up like an exaggerated military march. Since the steps are so large and showy, Capitano winds up walking rather slowly--unless, of course, he is running away from something.

Capitano runs at any loud sound, scary item, or if he is simply taken aback by something. Of course, almost anything can overwhelm him. When this happens, Capitano will drop anything that is in his hands, throw his head back and scream. His run is similar to his walk, but instead of taking large, slow steps, these steps are small and quick.

Capitano also likes to brag about his sexual conquests and victory in battle, but is afraid of women and confrontation (and of confrontation with women).

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