Safe Space Sticker Program
Being an Ally
Important things to remember about being an ally from the mouths of GLBT students:
“Being an ally on gay/lesbian/bisexual/[transgender] issues is the process of working to develop individual attitudes, institutions and culture in which gay, lesbian, bisexual [and transgender] people feel they matter. This work is motivated by an enlightened self-interest to end homophobia and heterosexism.”
J. Jay Scott and Vernon Wall, 1991
* Stand-up for GLBT people in places they are unable to
* Attend or volunteer at community events
* Be comfortable speaking about GLBT issues in front of non-GLBT peopl
* Don’t assume heterosexuality
* Use gender neutral language when discussing someone’s significant other until you’re sure of the appropriate language
* Be comfortable with your own sexuality and gender identity when discussing GLBT issues without feeling the need to hide or assert it
* Stay aware of GLBT events and issues in your immediate environment
* Be aware of GLBT issues in your routine life (examples: Professors in your classrooms, students in your dorm rooms and etc.)
* Have resources available for GLBT students (i.e. flyers on community events, knowledge on facilities available to them and etc.)
* Work closely with GLBT individuals to initiate change toward personal, institutional and societal justice and equality
* Educate yourself on GLBT issues
* Encourage GLBT students to feel comfortable being who and what they are
* Help to erase the shame associated with public displays of homosexuality
* Make it a point to talk to GLBT students about issues other than their sexual orientation or gender identity
* Challenge homophobia or heterosexism when you encounter it
* Don’t expect members of targeted minorities (e.g. gays, Jews, people of color, women, people with disabilities, etc.) to always be ‘experts’ on issues pertaining to their group
* Remember that you are human and allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them
* Don’t assume that a gay, lesbian or bisexual person of the same gender is automatically attracted to you
* Promote a sense of community with the GLBT community
* Teach others about the importance of outreach
* Treat people as unique individuals
* Have a good sense of humor
* Ask questions
Being an Ally for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered People
• Don't assume heterosexuality. In our society, we generally assume that everyone we meet is heterosexual. Often people hide who they really are until they know they are safe to come 'out'. Use gender neutral language when referring to someone's partner if you don't know the person well. In general, be aware of the gender language you use and the implications this language might have.
• Educate yourself about gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender issues. There are many resources available, reading lists and places to go for information. Don't be afraid to ask questions. The office maintains a library of books, magazines, and local and national resources. Stop by or call if you have any question. (202-885-3346)
• Explore ways to creatively integrate gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender issues in your work, in your classroom, your residential halls, or your office. Establishing dialogue and educating about gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender issues in the context of your other work can be a valuable process for everyone regardless of sexual orientation. Integration of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender issues into work you are doing , instead of separating it out as a separate topic, is an important strategy to establishing a safe place for people talking about many issues in their lives.
• Challenge stereotypes that people may have about gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender, as well as other people in our society. Challenge derogatory remarks and jokes about any group of people. Avoid making those remarks about yourself. Avoid reinforcing stereotypes and prejudices.
• Examine the effect sexual orientation has on people's lives and development. Identify how race, religion, class, ability and gender intersect with sexual orientation and how multiple identities shape our lives.
• Avoid the use of heterosexist language, such as making remarks implying that all people of the same gender date or marry members of the other gender. Respect how people choose to name themselves. Most people with a same sex or bisexual orientation prefer to be called gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, rather than homosexual. 'Queer' is increasingly used by some gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people (especially in the younger generations), but don't use it unless you are clear that it is okay with that person. If you don't know how to identify a particular group, it's okay to ask.
• Don't expect members of any population that is the target of bias (e.g. gays, Jews, people of color, women, people with disabilities) to always be the 'experts' on issues pertaining to their particular identity group. Avoid tokenizing or patronizing individuals from different groups.
• Encourage and allow disagreement on topics of sexual identity and related civil rights. These issues are very highly charged and confusing. If there isn't disagreement, it probably means that people are tuned out or hiding their real feelings. Keep disagreement and discussion focused on principles and issues rather than personalities and keep disagreement respectful.
• Remember that you are human. Allow yourself to not know everything, to make mistakes and to occasionally be insensitive. Avoid setting yourself up as an 'expert' unless you are one. Give yourself time to learn the issues and ask questions and to explore your own personal feelings.
• Ask for support if you are getting harassed or problems are surfacing related to you raising issues around sexual orientation. Don't isolate yourself in these kinds of situations and try to identify your supporters. You may be labeled as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered, whether you are or not. Use this opportunity to deepen your understanding of the power of homophobia and heterosexism. Make sure you are safe.
• Prepare yourself for a journey of change and growth that will come by exploring sexual identity issues, heterosexism and other issues of difference. This can be a painful, exciting and enlightening process and will help you to know yourself better. By learning and speaking out as an ally, you will be making the world a safer, more affirming place for all. Without knowing it, you may change or even save people's lives.
(Some of the information was provided by Auraria Campus Safe Zone Project)
Definitions:
Sexual Orientation: A person’s emotional, physical, and sexual attraction and the expression of that attraction.
Gender Identity: A person’s own sense of their identity as a man, woman, or a combination of both or neither. This personal sense of identity may or may not match biological sex, how the individual presents themselves to the world, or how the individual is socially perceived.
Heterosexual: A person who is primarily emotionally and physically attracted to people of the opposite sex. Also referred to as ‘straight’.
Homosexual: A person who is primarily emotionally and physically attracted to people of the same sex. Generally used as a clinical term rather than a term of self-identity.
Bisexual: A person who is emotionally and physically attracted to people of both sex. The term ‘Bi’ is also used to refer to bisexual people or communities.
Lesbian: A woman who is emotionally and physically attracted to other women.
Gay: A term usually referring to a man who is emotionally and physically attracted to other men. The term gay is also used as a blanket term to refer collectively to gay, lesbian, and bisexual people or communities.
Transgender: An umbrella term used to describe people who do not fit easily into traditional gender roles.
Transsexual: A person who pursues gender reassignment through use of hormones, surgery, and/or a change in identity, to live in a gender other than the one assigned at birth.
Intersexed: A person who is born with anatomy or physiology that differs from the cultural norms of male and female (for example, born with genitals of both sexes, ranging in degree from person to person).
Homophobia: A fear or discomfort with gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender people. It can be expressed as simply as avoiding gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender people or places or can be as virulent as verbally or physically harassing and harming gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender people.
Heterosexism: The assumption that all people are or should be heterosexual. Heterosexism is a more subtle, but often more difficult to eradicate, means of excluding and marginalizing gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people.
Ally: A person who actively works to eliminate the oppression and marginalization of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people. This includes providing support to individual gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender people as well as challenging heterosexism and homophobia.
Coming Out: The process through which an individual accepts and acknowledges their sexual orientation and gender identity. The term also refers to the process of disclosing one’s sexual orientation publicly or privately to other people. It is an ongoing, lifelong process.
Queer: A term that has been used as a derogatory name for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people. In recent years some people have chosen to reclaim this term and use it to describe themselves. It is sometimes used as a more inclusive term or a term that can describe a range of non-traditional sexual and gender identities. While some people now use the term queer in a positive way, other members of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender communities are still very uncomfortable with the term.
